


Dreams From Someone Else's Reality

by traptrixnepenthes



Category: Digimon Story Cyber Sleuth Hacker's Memory, Digimon Story Series | Digimon World Series
Genre: M/M, Post-storyline, if bamco won't give yu the happy ending he deserves i'll do it my own DANG self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 20:57:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14457597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traptrixnepenthes/pseuds/traptrixnepenthes
Summary: Strange dreams are just a part of life, but it's different when those dreams involve the people closest to you. But it's a truly wonderful thing to have dreams, isn't it?





	Dreams From Someone Else's Reality

I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach the question. I felt like asking in front of Ryuji and Chitose would give the wrong impression, but so would pulling him off to the side so I could ask. It wasn’t as if it was a _weird_ question, not unless he was able to read into why I was asking it in the first place, but if he asked why I was asking it’d be a major pain to explain it out. I wasn’t even sure how I would explain it in the first place.

Eventually fortune leaned in my favor, and there was a peaceful moment at one of the cafe tables where neither Ryuji nor Chitose were around, and that was when I popped it--“Yu,” I said, feeling suddenly on the spot as he turned to look at me with that delicate smile he always had for me, “do you want to go to the aquarium with me?”

Yu just blinked for a moment, looking somehow stunned, and he was definitely _probably_ about to respond when Chitose stuck his head around the corner and said, “Oh, finally asking him on a date, Keisuke?”

Chitose’s grin said it was a joke, but the bright blush on Yu’s pale cheeks said it wasn’t at all, even as he sputtered denials and put his hands up defensively over his face. I’d always thought it was cute of him, how easy it was to tease him like that and make his face go bright red, but I didn’t think I wanted to join in right now. So I just shrugged and said, “Well, it doesn’t _have_ to be a date. I just wanted to spend some time with him, since we haven’t had much of a chance without the two of you busybodies getting in the way.”

Chitose just nodded sagely, stroking a beard he didn’t even have the stubble for. “Aha, so it _is_ a date. Good job, Yu!”

“What do you mean by _that_?!” Yu’s voice was a full octave higher than it was normally, but Chitose had already dodged back out of range to his position at the front counter. Maybe I should have picked a better location to do this at, but it was way too late to worry about that now. It was still pretty early, so at least there weren’t any customers milling around just quite yet, and hopefully no one else had heard that little exchange.

But when Yu turned to me again, he looked like he was almost on the verge of tears, and his face was so red that for a moment I thought he was just going to explode. He tried to say something but it seemed like it just couldn’t come out, and he ended up just grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me into the storage closet at the back, Chitose catcalling at us. He couldn’t say anything to me, but he could still drag me around...that was just like him, really.

He almost slammed the door behind him, but instead just closed it gently, probably so that we didn’t grab anymore attention than we already had, and then turned to me. “What do you _mean_ it doesn’t have to be a _date_? What are you--”

Yu was doing his very best to keep his voice low, but he still sounded like he was either about to shriek or burst into tears or both. So I just cut him off in the middle with, “Is that a no, then?”

It _was_ cute, I decided, that Yu showed his embarrassment so freely like this. It was something I’d already thought about him for a long time, ever since we were kids, but it hadn’t been until the dream I’d had that I started questioning if...maybe when I saw his blushing face, and the way that he’d try and cover up that blushing with his hands as if he didn’t want anyone to see, and thought it was _cute_... _maybe_ that wasn’t just a normal, friendly thing to think about your best friend.

It had been a weird dream, or maybe a series of dreams, and I couldn’t really remember when I’d had them. But I could remember the contents of them pretty clearly, sometimes. A running theme in them was that Ryuji had a little sister that had mostly stayed in this very storage room, converted into something much nicer for her. Or the weird concept of _monsters_ that were also _programs_ that came in as many shapes and sizes as I could imagine, as if my subconscious had been thinking too hard about collectible card games or something. But there was a certain part of these dreams that somehow felt like it stood out in much more clarity than the rest of them, and it all had to do with Yu. I hadn't known why exactly it stood out so much before _the_ dream happened, but about a week ago, when I’d walked past the entrance to the aquarium, part of some dream I’d had came back in a rush--I’d been on a date with Yu. We hadn’t been like, holding hands or anything, but the way he’d talked and acted, the way he’d smiled at me...it was unmistakable. There couldn’t have been anything else we could have been doing.

I’d stopped right there in the middle of the sidewalk, my face suddenly burning. I’d ducked out of the way, back to a wall, my mind racing as it replayed for me, over and over, Yu smiling at me as if I was his whole world. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I was almost worried passersby might somehow hear and know exactly what I was thinking about--that I was fantasizing about going on a date with my best friend!

I ended up skipping going to Hudie that day, fairly certain that if I saw Yu’s face--no, Yu’s _smile_ \--in person, I wouldn’t be able to respond at all.

It was only once I was home that I’d started wondering why I was acting like that. It wasn’t like it was weird for Yu to smile at me or anything. And I’d always thought his smile was cute. That wasn’t unusual or anything, right? But it hadn’t been until that moment, that memory of something that had never happened, that I started to wonder--

\--did I _like_ Yu?

As far as I knew, it wasn’t a normal thing to just go around thinking about what would happen if you and your best friend were more than just best friends. Or...dreaming about it. Dreams were the end result of your subconscious putting together things in the world around you--the things you liked, didn’t like, were scared of, or things that made you so happy your chest would burst--and putting them into a mess that you saw when you slept. And it certainly hadn’t been...uncomfortable, thinking about being on a date with Yu.

So here I was now, standing in this storage closet that meant a lot more to dream me than real life me, with the very person I was having confusing dreams about. There was shoujo manga on the shelves here less cliche than this. But at least Yu no longer seemed like he was on the verge of shrieking at the top of his lungs.

“...no, it’s not a no.” His face was still bright red, though. There was barely any lighting in this little closet, but I could still see it so clearly. His hair had been cut to frame his eyes, but it did a pretty great job of framing his blushing cheeks, too. “Did--did you really mean it when you said...it _could_ be a date?”

Something fluttered in my chest, like a bunch of butterflies. “If...you want it to be.”

Silence fell. Yu just looked stunned, and somehow...hopeful. The butterflies transferred themselves from my chest to my stomach--I’d gotten this far and only now did I realize I’d just asked my best friend on a date. Like, for reals--it wasn’t a dream this time. Really, I’d just wanted to see what his reaction would be, try and maybe shoot that dream down before I developed a real crush on him, but this hadn’t been what I’d expected at all. I hadn't really expected him to be...open to the idea of any of it.

“You’re not--you’re not joking, are you? You’re being serious?” Worry, disbelief, and something like hope. That was all the notes that were in his tone of voice right then. He was hugging himself and looking down at the floor, and only now did I realize how bad this looked for me--Yu had always been an easy target for bullies, and he’d already gotten his fair share of people pretending to ask him out. And now here I was, in his eyes probably lining myself up to join their ranks.

So of course I couldn’t let that happen. “I’m being serious,” I said, not sure if I should try to reach out and put a hand on his shoulder or make some sort of other gesture. He looked up at me, his pale eyes locking on mine, and I finished with, “When do you think you’ll be free?”

“...Sunday,” he murmured, still not looking at me. “Let’s meet up at 11.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be there.”

And...silence again. He didn’t move, and neither did I. The faint buzzing of a lightbulb that needed to be changed was the only sound.

“...why are you asking me on a date?”

“Huh?”

“I said, why are you asking me on a date, Keisuke? It’s not like you’ve...ever shown any interest before…”

Yu still wasn’t looking at me. Maybe he was still afraid I’d say it was all a joke. I had to give him a sincere and genuine answer--this wasn’t something I could just blow off, not after he’d had this kind of response to it. So I’d tell him the truth.

“I...had a dream about it. About you and me on a date at the aquarium.” God, now I could feel myself starting to blush too. Admitting something this stupid was my reason was a lot harder to actually do than just think about. “I mean I freaked out a little bit at first, because I wasn’t sure why I was dreaming about something like that, but...it wasn’t like it was a bad dream or anything. You looked so happy in it. I guess I wanted to see you that happy again, in real life.” Now that I’d gotten started, the words just started pouring out--I hadn’t meant to tell him all of this, but here it was anyways. The week’s worth of confusing and conflicting emotions I’d been weathering just got dumped right there on the floor in front of him. “I mean, before that dream I’d never really thought I thought about you like that, but I guess there’s really only so many times I can think about how nice your smile is, or how cute you look when you get embarrassed, or--or things like that before I end up thinking about how…”

I trailed off, not able to look at him. Here it was. I’d finally admitted to him a truth that I hadn’t realized I’d been holding onto for years--I did, in fact, like Yu. Liked him _a lot_. The memory of the dream had left me with some sort of certainty that Yu liked me too, just exactly the same way, but now that I was telling him all of this I realized that it hadn’t been certainty, just hope. “...um. Sorry for springing all of this on you so suddenly. If--if you don’t feel the same way don’t worry about it, you can just forget this and we can keep being friends like normal.”

Yu hugged himself tighter. “...a dream? Is that supposed to be some sort of bad pickup line?”

“Wh--huh? No, I was serious, I really--”

“You are joking, right? You’re joking.” Yu cut me off, and I could feel my heart sinking. I’d been rejected by girls before, but nothing they had said had ever stung quite as much as this. “You--Keisuke, you have to be.”

“I’m not joking,” I said firmly, although at this point I probably should have just gone along with him and agreed it was a joke. Just a big prank, waiting until he was all alone so I could ask him to go to the aquarium with me. Definitely.

“I mean, I--” He cut himself off, and only now did I actually hear what his voice sounded like--he was crying. “-- _I’ve_ dreamed about that. About...being more than just your best friend.”

This stupid storage closet we were in was suddenly way too small for both of us, or maybe way too big. I wished we could have had this discussion anywhere but here, in this cramped little closet, where the two of us managed to be both way too close together and way too far apart.

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure if I should reach my arms out and hug him or not. Instead I just stared at him, still not sure I’d heard him right.

And then finally my stupid mouth opened again and said, “I had another dream where you said that same thing. That you wanted to be more than just my friend.”

He laughed weakly, but he wiped his face with the sleeves of his jacket and finally looked up at me again. “Now I _know_ that has to be a pickup line.”

“It’s not.”

“...are you really dreaming about me?”

“Yeah. I told you, I’m being serious here.”

Yu looked down again--or not down, exactly, but away from my face. “...is Sunday at 11 still good for our date?”

“Of course it is. I won’t let anything get in the way of it.”

And silence, again.

“...we should probably go back out,” I said. “Chitose’s probably already cooking up gossip about us for being in here for so long.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Yu wiped his face again. “This isn’t a good place to talk about this anyways. At least Sunday’s the day after tomorrow, right? We can...we can keep talking then.”

“Think we can pretend this whole conversation took place at the aquarium, and not in a storage closet?”

He laughed, and seeing a smile on his face again brought those butterflies back into my chest. I couldn't help smiling back at him. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget you trying such a lame line on me.”

“It wasn’t a line! Really!”

And then Yu finally opened the door, and the little back and forth ended. No need to spread our personal business all over the entire shop. At least Chitose had managed some decorum and hadn’t tried eavesdropping, since he was still standing at his post by the counter. I had my own work to do here, but Yu was on his way out--and I could hear Chitose engaging in some friendly sniping.

“Hey Yu, got things all set up for your date with Keisuke?”

“Yeah,” Yu countered effortlessly, “you jealous since you’ve never managed to score a date from anyone?”

I couldn’t help grinning. Being around Chitose and Ryuji had pretty quickly made Yu a lot snarkier than I could have ever imagined him being.

I took a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

Oh my god. That had all really just happened. Somehow none of it had actually processed in my head until he’d already left the shop.

I was going on a date with Yu!

The day’s activities passed slowly, or perhaps too fast. There was a lot to think on after that morning’s conversation, least of all the simple fact that Yu had actually wanted it to be a date. If Chitose hadn’t butted in the way he had, the question surely would have remained the way I’d originally intended it to be--just a normal request to hang out, even if _had_ been inspired by that dream. It wasn’t like it was uncommon for the two of us to do stuff like that together. But that simple interruption, that single line of teasing, had brought way more to light than Chitose probably ever thought it would.

Or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing. He _was_ the self proclaimed master of romance, after all.

But mostly, my thoughts kept drifting to something else Yu had said--that he’d been dreaming of it too. Had he meant it the same way I did, with actual dreams--or at least what had to have been a memory of a dream--or was it just something that he sat around daydreaming about? What did he imagine? Was I really so oblivious that I’d managed to miss the person closest to me slowly falling in love with me?

I hit the enter key just a little too hard. _Love_ was a very strong word, especially for something being born out of a dream I’d had. But I’d also only just realized recently that how I felt about Yu was more than regular garden variety friendship. Who knew how long he’d known what he was feeling?

“Hey,” Ryuji said over my shoulder, “do you know if Yu is going to be back later?”

I’m pretty sure I made a really embarrassing sound on hearing Yu’s name. “Uh, I don’t think so. I think he’s busy for most of the rest of today.”

And then from the other side, Chitose, who seemed to be trying exceptionally hard to get punched, said, “Oh, he’s sure _going_ to be busy, ain’t he, Keisuke?”

“Shut up!”

Ryuji was blessedly oblivious. Even more than I was. I'd seen people straight up hit on him without him realizing it. “What are you two talking about?”

“Well y’see, this morning Keisuke--”

“Don’t you dare say anything!”

Chitose just grinned smugly at me while Ryuji looked on, looking helplessly confused. And I was perfectly fine with that.

“Chitose, if you want gossip--”

“You know I do!”

“--then I’ll tell you whatever you want to know _after_ the fact.”

“Done deal! My lips are now mostly sealed.”

“Wait,” Ryuji said, trying to put the pieces together with his genius programmer mind, “are you doing something with Yu later?”

“No, not today. I’ll be free for whatever it is you want.”

I thought maybe I was being too calm about this. I should have been more nervous or worried or something, but the only butterflies fluttering around in me now were from looking forward to Sunday. Spending the week I had in the aftermath of remembering that dream, and all the other dreams I’d had about Yu, I’d felt so certain that of _course_ Yu felt the same way that it hadn’t been until this morning that I’d actually put any stock into the idea that my certainty had just been hope. Even though my memories of the dreams themselves were always pretty hazy, the sections I could remember always seemed so realistic, like it was something I’d already lived through.

Was this what people called memories of past lives? Or would that have really made this whole thing too cheesy?

I’d have to tell Yu more about the dreams. Maybe he’d tell me about his in return.

Other than that one incident, nothing particularly interesting happened over the course of the day until late. Probably out of habit more than anything else, Yu and I had a conversation over text that was just about basic little daily things, like a book he’d finished a few days ago or whatever project Ryuji was asking us to work on now or other things about our lives. It wasn’t like we did this kind of thing every day, but when Yu messaged me about how he was _still_ thinking about that book’s plot, I obviously couldn’t just ignore him.

The fact was, up until I’d joined Hudie, and then later when I’d invited him to join as well, neither of us had really had any friends outside of each other. Even now that we had Ryuji and Chitose, we were still more used to only talking to each other about things. What had happened this morning didn’t change that, or maybe it had cemented it.

Eventually it got too late, and soon enough Yu said he had to sleep. I said goodnight, he returned the gesture, and then I sent a heart.

There was an entire fifteen second pause between the read notification and Yu’s name and phone number popping up to call me.

Almost the very moment I answered, he hissed in my ear, “What does _that_ mean?”

“What else is it supposed to mean?” I pictured the pause between him seeing it and him calling me probably involved him dropping his phone in surprise.

“You’re--you’re right. Sorry for overreacting.”

He paused, and I was about to tell him not to worry about it when he said, “You don’t get to take it back, okay?”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

“Good!”

I understood why he was so worked up, but that didn’t change the fact that it made me want to tease him just a little bit. “Should I send more to get you used to it?”

And--yep, just as expected, there was a loud _crack_ over the audio, some faraway muffled cursing, and then Yu’s voice again--“Sorry, dropped my phone, but how can you just say stuff like that so _easily_?”

“Honestly, I’m a little surprised by it too. It just feels natural. Maybe all of Chitose’s advice on how to flirt is paying off?”

“Ugh, don’t bring _him_ up right now.” I couldn’t see Yu’s face, but I could still see him roll his eyes. “But...it made me happy.”

“I thought it would.”

“But I really need to sleep, too! Don’t send me anything else weird. Night.”

“Night.”

There was another pause after I said that, as if Yu wanted to say something else, and after another few moments, he said softly, “...it’s nice, hearing it out loud from you.”

Then he hung up before I could respond. Really, it was so cute how he managed to walk the line between easily flustered and being so completely sincere about how he felt. He was always so open with how he felt, and it was something I... _liked_ about him.

I waited, wondering if he was going to continue that over text again, but got nothing. That was fine, though. I wanted some time to myself to think about things.

It wasn't that I wasn't nervous, I realized. It was just that...nothing felt different. The realization that I liked Yu hadn't come with some dramatic crescendo or anything like you see in TV shows and manga. It was just looking at our friendship in a slightly different perspective--a reinterpretation of things that I’d always thought were perfectly normal, like how cute I always thought he was, how I wanted to protect and shield him from anything and everything bad, or how I found myself always wanting to be at his side. I had just never considered that those things could have been stemming from something other than friendship, and now that I had finally arrived at that conclusion, all of it still felt just as natural as it always had. There wasn't anything I needed to change.

Even before this realization of mine, I'd thought about how if Yu had ever asked me out, I would've said yes. Maybe I should have thought more deeply on that the first time it popped into my head.

No matter how long I waited, it didn’t seem like Yu was going to send anymore texts. Disappointing though that was, I just accepted that I’d probably have to sleep first before he could get up the courage to return any gestures like that, and plugged my phone in and shoved it under my pillow. As I was about to lay down, the screen lit up--a text from Yu. He’d sent one back.

Completely unbidden, I could feel a big doofy grin on my face--sure, this morning Yu had said he felt the same, but getting proof of it in the form of these little pixels on my screen felt so much different from a vague agreement to a date, or his subtle implications. It was a real thing, a real confirmation, proof of what had happened, and it made me feel so warm.

I wanted to send him even more in return, but I was pretty sure he'd waited so long to send one back because he wanted to be sure I was asleep first. I could just look at the text again in the morning and feel this same warm, fluffy feeling, and greet the day in the best way I could.

I hoped I’d dream of Yu again that night, and I did.

The air was cold and smelled damp, as if we were underground somewhere. I didn’t recognize where we were at all, but I could always recognize Yu. He was standing in front of me, looking remorseful, and I didn’t know why.

“I know you want to earn your forgiveness,” I heard myself saying, “not just have me give it to you, so I won’t say it out loud, at least.”

“...thank you,” Yu said. There were other voices echoing around us, and I couldn’t recognize any of them. “I just want to be able to do what I can for you.”

I smiled at him, and although he returned it, it felt kind of weak. “Let’s drop that subject. I didn’t come over here to interrupt your work just to go over that again. I actually had a question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“When this is all over and done with, how would you feel about getting a cup of coffee at our special place?”

A blush bloomed on Yu’s cheeks instantly. “I-I wasn’t the one who called it that. It was--”

“Still, it’s true, isn’t it? I mean, I can’t even think of the place without imagining you there with me.”

Yu looked pained, and glanced off to the side. His body language was always defensive, but I hated to see him acting like that because of me. I watched as he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out; even the voices around us started fading. I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but I desperately wanted to know what it was--what was I forgiving him for? What had he done? It was easy enough to figure out what _our special place_ was, but the rest of the dream was a complete mystery to me. I was almost upset with my dream self for seeing Yu so clearly upset and doing hardly anything to comfort him, he was right there, I could just reach out and--

I woke up.

I rolled over groggily in bed, and already I could feel the dream floating away from me. Something about Yu, and an invitation to our special place. There’d been something about his expression that had seemed off, but now all I could remember were the words I’d said and that they’d been said to him. Something...something.

Muddled thoughts and memories swirled in my head as I forced myself to sit up and check the time on my phone, and before I could even see what time it was I saw the text notification I hadn’t bothered to get rid of last night--that little heart Yu had sent. Just like when I’d first seen it the night before, a stupid smile was suddenly on my face, and I sent him the cheeriest good morning text I’d probably ever written in my life. It felt kind of silly, but after all the dreams I’d had like the one last night, getting my own reassurance that it had gone from dream to reality had filled me with more energy for the coming day than I’d ever had before.

He didn’t respond immediately, but I didn’t really expect him to. Little pauses in between things like that were just part of who Yu was, and it was several minutes later when he responded, not even with another good morning text, but instead asking me when I had work today. I told him my hours, and this time got an immediate response, asking if he could swing by and give me something a little bit later. I said of course he could, and that was the end of the conversation. I wanted to ask what he was bringing me, but he could be pretty evasive about gifts. Whatever it was, I’d just have to look forward to it, and I definitely was.

The rest of the day passed pretty simply, although I checked my phone an embarrassing amount of times to see if Yu would send me any other messages. The day itself just consisted of banging my head against whatever coding project Chitose wanted me to look over, in case there were any smaller problems with it that he as the programmer wouldn’t be able to see, doing assorted odd jobs around the shop, and in general just doing the same thing I did every day. But really, I was just counting down the hours to whenever Yu was going to show up at the shop--if not now, then maybe in an hour? Maybe thirty minutes? Maybe as I was thinking this, I’d hear his footsteps coming up the stairs?

But it wasn’t until late that Yu ended up coming in, and I was making the most valiant attempt I could to clean the cafe tables when I saw him standing by the front counter, glancing around the store. I walked over to him, and as soon as he saw me he took a step backwards, looking more nervous than I’d ever seen him before.

“Is something wrong?”

“N--nothing’s wrong.” He was stumbling over his words, and again he couldn’t quite look at me. “I’m only here for a--a few moments. I just wanted to give this to you.”

He shoved a little cardboard box into my hand, roughly the same size as one of the ones the fancy bakery put its individual slices of cake into. I opened the top as best as I could with one hand, and inside was indeed a slice of cake--chocolate, from the looks of it.

“I...was trying a new recipe last night,” Yu said, looking very firmly at something over my shoulder. “I had extra. It’s--I didn’t just make this for you!”

Yu was about as transparent as a pane of glass, but I humored him. “Thanks,” I said, smiling. “I’m sure it’s great.”

“Dont--don’t share any of it, okay? Anyways, I…” He finally looked at me, managing eye contact for all of a second before looking at the ground. “I have to go. See you later. Bye!”

And he fled down the stairs from the shop. Chitose popped up from where he’d apparently been hiding behind the front counter, probably to avoid whatever sharp words Yu would’ve had for him, and put one hand on his hip, looking somehow annoyed with me. “You know? You’re living my dream, do you know that? How dare you start dating someone that cute who even brings you homemade sweets before me.”

I glanced back to the cake and then grinned at him. “See, I’d offer you some advice, but I think the only childhood friend you have is Ryuji.”

“Damn! He knows how to cook, but he never learned how to bake!” I laughed, and Chitose just grinned. “But y’know, I was so busy being sure to tease you yesterday I forgot to ask. Are the two of you actually…?”

Well, that sure was a personal question. And I wasn’t actually sure how to answer it, either. I looked at the box in my hands, and thought about the little exchange of hearts we’d had the night before. “I hope so? But it doesn’t feel like anything really changed.”

“Why would it?” Chitose shrugged. “You two’ve already known each other for ages. It’s not like you have to start from scratch just because of this.”

“I guess so.” Of course, some things had changed. Now I knew exactly why I always felt so fluttery inside when Yu did something for me. But I wasn’t about to tell Chitose that.

“But more importantly! That kid has been _obviously_ pining for you ever since I first saw him!” Chitose was frowning at me, and it felt like he was trying to intimidate me. It worked, just a little bit. “You’d better not go around making someone like that sad, or you’ll never find anyone else ever again!”

“Jeez, you don’t have to yell at me. What, do you think I’m gonna just go around trying to hurt my best friend?”

“Best friend,” Chitose mused, “or _boyfriend_? Now go and eat that or I’ll have to be the one who breaks his heart by eating it for you. You’re blocking the doorway.”

Now it was my turn to frown at him, and he just shrugged, looking utterly unapologetic. Given the relative skeleton crew that this cafe worked with, it felt like a bad idea to take a break even for this, but if Chitose was offering me one I wasn’t going to just turn it down. Especially not after that threat he’d aimed right at Yu’s gift.

I sat down at the table I hadn’t finished cleaning yet and opened the box. Yu, considerate as he always was, had included a plastic fork in the box, and I brushed the crumbs off of it before looking at the cake itself. It wasn’t very fancy looking, but it was still clear that he’d put a lot of effort into it--it was two layers separated by a thin barrier of what looked to be chocolate icing, and that was probably handmade too. Yu was always dedicated to everything he put his mind to, and that of course extended to his hobbies like this. I’d had the chance to try some of his other creations before, but this was the first time he’d made something just for me.

Or, no. It wasn’t just for me. Or so he claimed.

I took a bite, and then another, and then another. I’d never been much of a fan of sweets, but I never objected when Yu offered to treat me to something, be it one of his own or picking up something from a bakery somewhere around the city. But this cake? This little slice that Yu had made by hand, and then delivered to me by hand? It was the most delicious thing I’d ever had.

I finished it up, trying to savor each bite but also not go so slow that Chitose yelled at me, and then sent Yu a text that said exactly that--that it was the best cake I’d ever had. He replied instantly, scolding me for exaggerating, and started grilling me for specific details on what I did and didn’t like. But it wasn’t an exaggeration, and so even though I did try to be as specific as I could in response to all his questions, it all just amounted to the same thing: it was incredible. I asked if he had anymore “extra” and after a bit of a pause, he said that he did, but that it might not taste as good now that it was a day old. I said that was fine, and he didn’t respond to that for another thirty minutes, until I was already well underway with my work again, asking if it was okay to meet me after work. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d walked me home, so I said yes.

Another, oh, probably fifteen minutes later, my phone buzzed again--Yu had replied with a single heart. That same giddy feeling swirled around in my chest like it had this morning, and I knew I’d be smiling just the same way as I had then for the rest of my shift. But I was pretty okay with that.

The end of work came, and I was downstairs faster than I thought I could manage. Yu was there waiting for me, and I’d been a little bit worried since it was late and he had a history of getting approached by creeps, but he seemed to be just fine. “Hey. Were you waiting long?”

“Not really. You told me when you were getting out this morning, so I just had to hope you remembered right.” He crossed his arms. “...Did you really mean all those things you said about the cake?”

“Of course I did. It was good enough I had to defend it from Chitose.” I started walking, and he walked alongside me. We’d always walked close to each other, but today it seemed like he was a little bit closer than usual. “I dunno if I’ll ever be able to enjoy another dessert again.”

“Now I _know_ you’re exaggerating.”

“Only a little bit! I really did mean everything I said.” My hand brushed against Yu’s as we walked, and the very contact felt like an electric jolt through my entire body. It would've been so easy to just reach out and... “You’re amazing.”

“...Not really.”

“You really are.” There was something I was supposed to do in this situation. Chitose had talked about it as some sort of technique, but I figured it was probably just a good gesture for right now anyways. I steeled my nerve, feeling acutely aware of the fact that we were still on the brightly lit public streets, and put one arm around Yu’s shoulders, pulling him closer to me. “I mean it.”

I wasn’t sure if that was the right move to take. It was completely unlike anything either of us had ever done before. Sure, we’d been best friends for ages, but there’s still always certain lines and boundaries that you’re told you’re never supposed to cross no matter how close you are with your friends, and things like this were one of them. Even the incidental brushing of our hands just a little bit earlier was one of them. Was it too soon for this? Words were one thing, those were easy enough to exchange, but actions were somehow so much more of a commitment.

Yu just leaned his head against my shoulder. That little gesture said more than any words could, and I squeezed him a little bit tighter. He lifted one arm and gently placed his hand over mine, just for a few moments, and his hand was so warm against mine. Then he dropped his hand again, and I didn’t have to actually see his face to know that he was blushing. Just like how I knew I was.

We kept walking, my arm around him, and gradually conversation started again. It wasn’t really about anything in particular, just easy and comfortable talk, and I reflected again on how even though things were clearly different now, so many things still hadn’t changed. I was still me, Yu was still Yu, and the time we spent together had gotten more...upgraded, rather than changed. The conversations were still the same, and even how we treated each other was no different, but in the little details, like the hearts or my arm around him or his hand on mine, it was clear that things had become something new.

There were fewer people on the streets now, and our talking had mostly tapered off into nothing. The night air was cool around us, and Yu was so warm in contrast. It made me want to pull him in just a little closer, as if he wasn't already as close as he could be while we could still walk.

Yu stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk, and I stopped with him. “Something wrong?”

“Am I really…” Ah. I should've known just one day wasn't enough to assuage Yu’s worries. “Am I really the person you want to be with?”

“You are,” I said gently. “It took me a long time to realize it, but that doesn't make it any less true.”

“No, I mean…” He seemed to be caught between leaning in closer and shoving me away. “There's nothing about me to like. It makes me happy that you're willing to go this far, but I don't understand why you're doing this in the first place. Saying you dream about me, wanting to take me to the aquarium, all these little gestures… you _can't_ mean all of them.”

“Yu,” I said firmly, “I mean every single one of them. And there's lots of things to like about you. Your dedication to things, how kind you've always been to me, your face, your hair, how you always share the things you like with me, and...so much more than that.”

As I spoke, I could feel Yu getting more and more tense beside me, and he was making the same pained face I’d seen in my dream last night. I could just faintly remember being angry with the me in the dream for making him look like that, and now here I was, fulfilling the prophecy the dream had laid out. “You don’t mean that.”

And he brought one hand up to mine again, but this time it was to brush me away from him. My arm fell back to my side kind of limply, and Yu took a single step forward before turning to look at me. “Listen, I...I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But I know you don’t actually mean any of it so just...just stop already.”

I didn’t know how to respond. Why was Yu acting like this? Had I done something wrong? I wanted to reach out to him again, but that seemed like it would be a bad idea. “What are you talking about? I really do mean everything I’m saying. To me, you’re--”

“Shut _up_!” Yu’s voice was so sharp that it stopped me in my tracks, and he looked away. “I mean it. You don’t have to be so nice to me. I don’t _want_ you to be so nice to me, not like this.”

“Yu--”

“No matter how many good things you say about me, it’s not as if they’re actually true. It just hurts hearing you say them.” His normally gentle voice was so bitter now, each word dripping with venom. “...I don’t deserve it, anyways.”

He fell silent, and I didn’t know what to say either. How was I supposed to comfort him about this when apparently all my attempts to do exactly that were just making whatever the problem was worse? I opened my mouth to say something, I didn’t even know what, but he cut me off before I could.

“You remember when you first joined Hudie? It was more than just a job, it was joining a group of friends, and I _hated_ it. Hated Ryuji, hated Chitose, hated _you_ for talking about them when we were together. It was more than just resenting them. I hated them more than anything else, and it was because they were...it was like they were stealing you away from me.” Yu’s voice was vicious, but I couldn’t tell if it was still directed at Ryuji and Chitose, or...at himself. “You’re the only person who ever tried to be my friend. No one else wants to lower themselves to the rest of the grade’s favorite target. I should’ve known it was too good to last.”

Of course I knew that Yu had been brutally tormented by almost everyone around him for his entire time in school. I’d been classmates with him ever since elementary school, after all. They’d been pretty indiscriminate in what it was about him that supposedly deserved it--his height, his appearance, how he dressed, how he talked, his gentle personality, the fact that he got better grades than almost everyone else. It wasn’t an exaggeration in the slightest to say that I was the only person who’d never tried to hurt him, and even less of one to say I was his only friend.

But Yu was so much stronger than I ever could’ve been if I’d been in his place. No matter how much other people hurt him, he still always insistently did what he wanted to--he still cut his hair the same, dressed how he wanted to, and seemed to keep his grades up more out of spite than anything. He’d always been defensive because of everything he’d been through, but once he started middle school he’d started actively fighting back against the people who tried to see him as just another target. Over the years, I’d always done everything I could to defend him, but I couldn’t always be there for him all the time. The fact that there was a clear limit to what I could do to help my best friend was something that hurt me even now.

But Yu? Yu was the most amazing person I’d ever known.

“I don’t hate them now,” he continued, “not really. You invited me into Hudie too, but that was probably just pity. You had real friends now, ones that you didn’t have to tend to and take care of. But I was so happy anyways, because it meant I got to be with you again.” Yu was hugging himself again, his fingers digging into his arms so harshly I would’ve worried he’d scratch his skin open if he hadn’t been wearing the heavy jacket he always wore. “And now that I’ve told you all this, you think I’m pathetic, don’t you? You probably already did, didn’t you? Pathetic for always trying to take up all your time and attention. Pathetic for always having to get saved by you.”

I tried to interrupt again. He had things all wrong. “Yu, I--”

“You hate me, right? Just say that you hate me and that I’m a burden!” His voice was rising, and it was a good thing that the street we were on was deserted, or else people probably would have been staring at us. “Just tell me the truth already!”

“God, just _shut up_ and listen to me!” I snapped at him and Yu recoiled as if I’d reached out and slapped him. I lowered my voice, hoping I hadn’t scared him. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me as someone like the people who hurt him. “I don’t hate you. I don’t think you’re pathetic. I don’t even blame you for hating Ryuji and Chitose.”

Yu looked stunned again, and I continued. I wanted to grab him, try and reassure him everything was okay, but I probably already seemed threatening enough as it is. “I invited you to join Hudie too because I wanted you to be there with me. If what had happened was switched--if it had been you who’d found a new group of friends that didn’t include me instead, I probably would’ve acted the same way. Or--or maybe not. I probably would have just accepted that you didn’t have any interest in me anymore and said nothing and just watched you, my only real friend, leave me behind.”

I’m not as strong as Yu is; I never have been, and probably never would be. He was amazing, and ever since I was young, I’d always been bland, boring, average. It was never as bad as what Yu had gone through, but I’d get mocked for it too, and probably the only reason it never went much farther is because, just like they said, I was completely and utterly forgettable.

But Yu had never seen me as those things, and it was something that amazed me just as much now as it had then. Sure, I’d been the first to stand up for him, but he in turn had been the first person to pay more than a passing interest in me. It was from there that a friendship had grown, just two loner kids who didn’t have anyone else around their age to rely on. Just like Yu now, assuming that I was going to try and hurt him like everyone else around him had, I’d spent my years half-wondering when he was going to finally lose interest in me just like everyone else. Unlike him, I didn’t even have particularly good grades to fall back on, but I’d never resented him for it.

It was silly, thinking about it right now, but when I’d been younger, like all other little kids I’d admired the heroes that existed on TV. Maybe when I was that young, I’d wanted to protect Yu so that I could be a hero just like the ones I idolized, but I’d pretty quickly realized that someone like me could never be that kind of special. At best, I was a background character, just another face in the crowd, but Yu...Yu made me _want_ to be a hero. Because he, after all his years of helping me and supporting me and always choosing me over others, had always been a hero to me.

And I told him all of this, all of the things I’d thought and felt over the years but never said to him because I’d never realized they were things he wanted to hear. If Yu had just given me all the reasons I was supposed to hate him, I’d give him more than that for why I loved him instead.

“Thank you,” I said to him, and he looked so fragile in that moment compared to how strong he usually was, “for always staying at my side. You’re the most important person in the world to me. I mean it.”

There was a sense of deja vu to the situation, as if I’d done all of this before. But I knew I’d never told him any of this. Maybe it was something I’d done in one of the dreams I had about him--telling him how important he was to my life, and that he was truly irreplaceable to me. It was something I clearly should have done much, much sooner.

“So to answer your original question,” I said, holding a hand out to him, “yes, I _am_ sure you’re the person I want to be with. I just hope that...you feel the same way.”

He looked my hand uncertainly, as if I was going to pull my hand back and call it all a big joke. I just kept holding it out, and he glanced up to my face. He looked nervous, worried, and...hopeful. Just the same way he’d looked the day before, when I’d first asked him out. And just the same way, he hesitated before reaching out to me and taking my hand. “...Of course I do.”

I smiled at him, and he smiled back--that familiar blush was dusting his cheeks again, and that was somehow even more of a sure sign that we’d crossed the gap that had opened up between us so suddenly. “And...you don’t have to worry about things like that anymore, alright? If you ever feel like I’m drifting away again, you can tell me. I’ll do anything I can to prove to you I’m not.”

Yu’s hand was warm in mine, and we started walking again, hand in hand. “Are we still on for tomorrow?” His voice was soft, and I squeezed his hand, just a little bit.

“Definitely. But if you don’t mind meeting up a little bit earlier, why don’t we stop by...our special place?”

I’d pulled that line directly from the dream I’d had last night, and it had an almost identical effect on the Yu standing next to me as it’d had on the Yu in my dreams. I saw a blush bloom onto his cheeks and he squeezed my hand painfully. “You can’t just call K-Cafe our special place. Even though I knew exactly where you meant when you said that.”

I just laughed a little bit. “But it’s true, isn’t it? I mean, I can’t even think of the place without imagining you there with me.”

“It’s the same for me, honestly. I always feel a little bit disappointed when I go there and you’re not there waiting for me.” Yu looked up to the sky--it was too bright here in the city to see any stars, but it never seemed to matter anyways. “Wonder how the owner’s gonna react when he finds out about...us.”

“Can’t imagine he’ll care all that much, given how often we go there. Not saying we need to break the news anytime soon, but…”

“He’d probably just feel flattered that it’s our _special place_.”

“I guess we’re going to have a pretty busy day tomorrow, but I’m looking forward to it. It really has been a while since the last time it was just the two of us.”

Yu was quiet, and I glanced over at him. I couldn’t read the expression on his face, and I wondered what he was thinking about--maybe he was thinking about earlier, when he’d said he hated talking about Ryuji and Chitose when it was just the two of us. Maybe the reason we’d never been able to coordinate things so we could just sit and spend time together for a while was because he’d been trying to actively avoid exactly that.

How Yu felt towards me was kind of messy, and how I felt towards him in return was pretty messy too. It wasn’t anywhere near a perfect romance, and even as we walked together with his hand tucked tightly in my own, I was still getting used to the idea of seeing him as...something more than a best friend. It wasn’t that much different from how I already saw him, of course, but the idea that he was now someone who I could hold hands with, or even _kiss_ him, if Yu was okay with that, was still something I was having trouble getting my head around. But it was something that was important to him, just as he was important to me, and that meant that I’d do the best I could to make it work.

After so many bold declarations from me in these last two days, it felt silly to worry about whether or not I’d be able to make this work. But now that I knew what kinds of things Yu was worried about and how they fit so clearly against my own worries, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could make both our dreams come true.

Not that I’d ever say it like that out loud.

“It has been a while,” Yu said finally, “but I guess that just means we’ll have to make it a good day.” He turned to look at me, a sly little grin on his face. “You can start by buying me lunch tomorrow in exchange for the cake I gave you.”

“You know, you can’t always expect me to pay you back like that.” In retrospect, I should have realized sooner that I had it bad for Yu. He had a stranglehold on my finances. “If anything, you should be buying _me_ food, since I'm going to be getting tickets tomorrow.”

“Maybe I'll just make us lunch instead then. I think I still know your favorites.”

“Yeah, it's anything you make.”

Yu squeezed my hand until it hurt again, and that was something I was quickly getting used to. It was just another one of his cute little expressions of how flustered he could get. It was so easy for me to say things like that to him because, well, it was true, but now I was worried he'd try to turn it into more self-deprecation, no matter how sincere it was. But he just said softly, “I'll do my best, then.”

It was a small change on the surface, but a big one underneath. Yu could stop putting himself down under the guise of being humble. I could stop seeing myself as someone who was too unremarkable to get noticed. Changes not many people would notice, but important changes nonetheless.

It wasn't perfect, and both of us had our problems we needed to work on. But now, rather than trying to struggle with those things on our own, we'd be able to do it together. Our rough edges were still rough and jagged, but we still fit together comfortably. I didn't think this would be possible for either of us if we'd been with anyone else, and having told each other the full extent of what we felt for each other had both made things more complicated and cleared the air entirely.

Yu really was the best friend I could ask for. And, of course, the best boyfriend I could ask for, too.

“Hey, Yu?”

“Yeah?”

I knew what I wanted to say, and the words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't get them out for some reason. Just three little words, words I _knew_ were true, and yet I just couldn't find the right way to say them. “...Thank you,” I said instead, “for choosing me.”

Yu smiled at me, that same smile I'd seen in the dream where we'd been on a date at the aquarium. The smile where he looked at me as if I was his whole world. “I love you too, Keisuke.”

Now I was the one in Yu’s shoes, clinging to his hand for dear life with my face burning. “H-how can you say that so...casually?”

“I've been waiting for the day I could say that to you. Not that I...practiced or anything.” Yu looked radiant under the streetlights, the yellow light reflecting off his hair like an angel’s halo. “Good to see I’m finally getting payback for all the times you’ve gotten _me_ flustered like that! I really mean it, though.”

“Hearing it get said out loud is...a lot different than just imagining it.”

“Oh, so you think about stuff like that, huh? What other kinds of things have you been thinking about, hmm?”

Things I'd thought about in the past week completely unrelated to the dreams I'd been having popped into my head, picking the worst possible time they could. Nothing was all that extreme, but how was I supposed to tell Yu that his hands were just as warm and delicate as I'd imagined they would be?

Instead of saying anything, I just changed my grip on his hand, interlacing our fingers. “I don't think I need to tell you that, since we're already fulfilling them.”

Going home together like this was the easy part. Actually parting was a lot harder. I would've been perfectly happy walking and talking with Yu for the rest of the night, but it was late, and we had plans neither of us wanted to jeopardize tomorrow.

The goodbye was pretty tame. There was no kiss, no mutual I love yous, just a small sad feeling as I had to let go of his hand and told him I'd see him tomorrow. It was pretty clear he didn't want to leave either, but neither of us was brave enough to bring up the obvious suggestion, so we parted with just those few words.

I ate and got ready for bed, but something was still stopping me from actually sleeping. I tried to ignore the obvious cause, since I didn't want to come off as clingy or annoying, but there was really no getting around it. I sat down on my bed and called Yu, waiting patiently for him to pick up, and he did.

“Yeah? What’s up, Keisuke?”

He sounded just as if the night had passed as it always had, and that nothing different had happened. I couldn't maintain that same casual air, and said something I'd thought who knew how many times over the years. “I wanted to hear your voice again.”

Yu, to his credit, didn't drop his phone this time. He just huffed at me and said, “I'm really going to have to get used to you saying things like that all the time, aren't I?”

“Hey, there's a lot I've wanted to say to you that I never have before. Think you can deal with all of that?”

“Yeah, I'm sure I'll manage it somehow.” I could hear the smile in Yu’s voice, and I smiled too. He wouldn't be able to see it, of course, but that was fine. “I had a question for you, anyways. I was just going to text you, but this works too. Was there...I mean, you said it was because of the dream you had--and I still don't know if I believe that's more than just a line, by the way--but was there any reason you decided on the aquarium?”

“I told you it isn't a line! And because it’s true, I don't actually have any other reason, honestly.”

“Picking a date spot because of a dream...you’re unbelievable.”

“Should I have put more thought into it? Or you can pick the next place we go.”

“A next time, huh…” Just like how I was still adapting to it, it seemed Yu was also getting used to the idea that his dreams were a reality now too. “But no, that wasn't why I was asking. The truth is, I've been wanting to go to one for a while now. It felt like you read my mind somehow. You picked the perfect place.”

“I'm glad to hear that. I’ll try and see if my dreams have any other good ideas, then.”

We kept talking, easy chatting that was mostly fueled by neither of us wanting to hang up just yet, until the time was somewhere after midnight and we were both at risk of oversleeping the next day. Our goodbyes were more hesitant now than they’d been in person, but eventually we hung up.

That night, I didn't hope to dream about Yu again. I was already as close as I could be to living in a dream, after all.


End file.
